Hey guys

After an almost two week depression after the break up with my ex, I decided to move on. I now see how an asshole he was.

So let me clarify some things.

He didn't used to be an asshole, otherwise I wouldn't be with him for such a long time. He started being a d*ckhead from June. Why? I don't know. But he suddenly started to be really stupid to me, and I just let him. And then in October I snapped. I was so mad at him, and he couldn't stand that. He said my personality was too strong for him (after 5 years wtf?) and we didn't go together. Then he started to tell me things like his niece didn't like me, and there were friends of him who didn't want to hang out with him because he was with me. Now he is all like 'it is your fault my friends didn't want to hang out with me' but in my opinion, this says more about his friends and niece then about me.

I also found a new guy whom I really really like, but we can't have a relationship yet. But I changed my status on FB anyway, because I was getting all those mails from desperate guys. He (my ex) couldn't cope with that. I didn't hear from him in like 2 weeks, not even a 'how are you" but when I changed my status, he was immediately reacting to it. In my eyes this says enough. I'm not good enough to hear how I'm doing, but when I'm doing well, he can't stand that. I think he just wanted me to be unhappy for years. Well I just can't give him that. Now he defriended me because he thought it was too hard for him.
I was like "o.O now it is too hard? And what about the past two weeks?"
I think he still took me for granded and thought I would come back to him after a while. But that's just a theory, I really don't care anymore. It just showed once more what a baby he is.

So now I'm really pissed at him, being such an asshole and stuff. He now is taking the form of "I'm the victim here, please feel pity for me", while in the end he is the one who ended the relationship! Also telling people I'm telling lies, and there are 2 parts on each story. That's true about the 2 parts, but I'm not lying. First of all, what would I gain from lying, when I tell people how I felt when he was being such a dickhead to me? And second, I'm sorry I won't degrade myself to lie, just because he broke up with me. I'm just telling my part of the story, how I felt and what he said to me, and how I felt by what he said to me. That he thinks there's a different version, then I'm sorry but on what planet did he live? He denegrated me alot, and I just can't let him walk over me. So I just did it back to him.

One of his famous speeches was that he thought I was too fat. And I got mad, and he was like: ow yeah about your aggression, we should talk about that too.
I've told this to some friends of mine, and believe me, there were some who would have killed him just for saying that. And then I'm the one with the aggressionproblem?

I'm sorry, but I cannot accept this. You just don't treat your girlfriend that way, not even people in general. I should just have ended it then, but I was thinking, 'hey we'll get out of it'
But it was just getting worse...

Now there are too many things said. I don't think this will ever turn out right. I'm really sorry for that. I wished we could just happily live on and be friends. But I'm too mad at him, because of the way how he reacted to me.

I can nag and nag and nag and nag about this for hours. But I will stop here. Because otherwise I will get too deep in this and get pissed again. And also because of privacy.
After all I know this only concerns me and him. But I need to talk to people about it, in order to process this. I hope you all will understand this.

If you don't like this then don't read it, I'm not hoping to get some pity from people, if that's what you think. I just need to talk and talk and talk about it. So if I'm nagging too hard, just tell me.^^

Thanks for reading/listening

I hope I will be better soon.